Argh...

This weekend was a rough one. I had to work and thanks to the blizzard on Christmas Eve (Thursday) not many people could get to work. This meant we were severely short staffed. Some nurses had worked 20 hour shifts, sleeping at the hospital because they were stranded and the ones that were supposed to come in couldn't get out of their driveways, much less drive there. When I got there Saturday morning I was greeted by some grim faces and told that I would be 1 of only 2 NA's that shift. There are usually 4 of us. That meant I had double the patient load... yipee.
Mind you, this was only my 2nd day post training, without my trainer. My first had been earlier that week and horrendous, but that's another story.

Anyway, the patients were also cranky, since I'm sure spending Christmas in the hospital is no fun... especially when there is a nursing staff shortage and they probably had to wait forever for everything. On Sunday afternoon, there was one particularly disturbing occurrence that had me wanting to choke myself with the nearest nasal cannula. I went into the room of a patient to answer his call light for the umpteenth time. (He was one of those patients, you know?) The following conversation ensued-

Patient: Blah blah blah... are you married?
Me: Yes sir, I am.
Patient: How many kids do you have?
Me: None, sir.
Patient: None? How old are you?
Me: I'll be 29 in a few weeks. (At this point I steeled myself for the lecture I knew I was about to receive from this 80+ year old man)
Patient: Well you're almost 30! Don't you want any children?
Me: Yes sir, I do.
Patient: You better get a move on then... Don't you think it's about time?!?!
Me: (Trying hard to not betray the boiling fury bubbling up in my head) Some day *fake smile*
Patient: Well, doesn't your mom want any grandkids? I bet she does.
Me: Oh, she has plenty to keep her busy, sir. Three and another one on the way.
Patient: Hmph... well, you're not getting any younger, you know!
Me: *Fake smile and nod*

It's been a while since I last had that outright of a rebuking for my childlessness from a complete stranger. Of course he had no idea... nor was I about to tell him of our struggles as it was none of his business... It just sucked and made my already bad weekend even worse. I'm proud of myself for not flipping out as I was already teetering on the verge from the stress of the workday and being sick with a nasty stomach bug.

Go me :)

White(out) Christmas

It's 25* outside right now and we are currently under a Blizzard Warning, woohoo! They've been forecasting this huge storm for days and it started off with us just getting a "trace" of snow. Obviously that has changed. It's been freezing rain/sleeting since the wee hours of the morning and will soon be transitioning to all snow here shortly. We have a few inches of ice/sleet already and are expected to get about 6-8 more in snow by mid afternoon. Then a hard freeze is setting in and tomorrow we'll probably all be buried under one big chunk of ice. How lovely ;)

Due to this turn in meteorological events, we're packing up our dogs and hauling everything over to Ben's parent's house. I'm cooking the turkey and while dinner is not until 6, we thought it wise to head over early and cook it there before the storm gets too out of control. We'll probably end up staying the night since we'd have to drive all the way back tomorrow morning for presents anyway. Nate & Tiff were kind enough to let us borrow their Xterra, so we're good to go!

Hopefully if my camera cooperates I'll have some pretty pictures to post tomorrow! Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. Stay warm!

Edited to add: We got 14" of snow! The wind was gusting at 50-60mph most of the time so we ended up with some awesome 2-3 foot drifts as well. Apparently this broke all sorts of records for Oklahoma which up until now has never gotten this much snow EVER. So yeah, it's no Utah by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still very pretty nevertheless!

6 Wonderful Years!

Six years ago I married my sweetheart! Can it really have been that long ago? Time sure does fly when you're having fun! Much has happened during this time, some good, some bad... but mostly good! I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful hubby that is so loving and supportive and still makes me laugh, blush, and get that twitterpated flutter in my tummy ;) Someday he will be the greatest Dad too, I just know it. I still can't believe I get to keep him forever!

Love you babe!!! MUAH! ;)

Veni, Vidi, Vici !!!

I kept my 4.0 this semester WOOHOO!!! I was actually kind of worried with that dumb PoliSci class that has been the thorn in my side this semester. If anything was going to mess up my lovely 4.0 it was going to be that stinking class... but I ended up with a 93.95% overall avg so that's an "A" baby! Not my best work, but I'll take it this time. Haven't gotten my final grade for A&P yet, but I know it's an A since the lowest grade I've gotten on any test this semester was a 97% I think... So all is good. :)

Now next semester... ugh, Chemistry is going to eat me for lunch and spit me back out. Then it's going to grind me into the ground with its shoe and scrape me off into the nearest trashcan... At least Developmental Psych should be cake. :)

Noteboks are for notes, not for kissing

I usually can't stand SNL, but this past week Taylor Lautner (Jacob Black) hosted it and I was sure something Twilight oriented was bound to be on there. It was and it was pretty funny. His opening monologue wasn't 1/2 bad either, but this is my favorite skit! Check out what's on the board, I love it! :)

Why Elmo rocks my socks!

During my last semester at BYU, one of my roomies had a Christmas CD of some sort that featured one of my favorite Christmas songs, "Do you hear what I hear?" It's the awesomest version EVER because it's sung by ELMO!!! (and Rosie O'Donnell) Elmo and I share a birthday and he's just so super cool like that, so yeah... he's my favorite.

Anyway, I recently added his song to my playlist and it occurred to me that maybe there was a video of it on YouTube... sure enough, there was! Sit back and enjoy, this little dude rocks!

Great people, great fun, great cause!

This made my day... just thought I'd share! :) The old janitor dude throughout is my absolute favorite! He knows how to get DOWN!

It's not much...

but it's something! It's grainy too, but oh wells... I'm excited to see something coming out! Hopefully the next one will be meatier.
Ron getting splinched sure looks painful... yikes!

Go figure...

Yesterday was my first day at Integris and I was SO hoping I'd get through my first day without making a fool out of myself... but this is me we're talking about, right? *sigh*

So we had this one patient that had a trach and was wearing a cervical collar due to a neck injury. The poor guy was having a really hard time because his trach was getting clogged up with his thick secretions/sputum so every once in a while the nurse or respiratory therapist had to go in there and suction all that crap out. Anyway, my charge nurse (who knows I'm in school for nursing) asked me to help her since my morning hadn't been too terribly exciting and the coolest thing I'd gotten to do thusfar were some finger sticks. So I gowned up because he was an isolation patient (he has MRSA) and put on my gloves, and face-shield mask. His room was REALLY hot... the thermostat was above 85, I believe. It hadn't been a problem the previous times I'd been in there with him that morning because vital signs and finger sticks take all of 3 minutes, so you're in and out. However cleaning out this poor guys trach took a lot longer than I expected. She had me hold his head perfectly still while she took his neck brace off and then got to work suctioning, cleaning, and replacing all his little doodads. She asked me if I was getting grossed out, but honestly it was actually pretty cool. Ten minutes into the whole thing he started getting really uncomfortable (since she had to keep suctioning again and again after cleaning around it) and grimacing a lot. I felt terrible for him and tried to smile and be comforting but then I realized all he could see of my face were my eyes, which probably weren't very comforting-looking anyway. Then he started curling up and shaking and coughing and gasping like crazy. The nurse said it was normal but it was just too much for me at that point, I think. I'd already started to feel really hot because of the isolation gear but all of a sudden it felt like 110* in there. I knew I was starting to have a little freak out so I focused on breathing and telling myself to hang on. My arms were starting to shake a little from holding his head absolutely still in that position for that long and then with him writhing and gasping and looking at me with his eyes bugging out... that was it. I started getting this funny ringing in my ears and the the spots started. I knew I was going to pass out but I was SO embarrassed and trying to hold on, but it's like time just slowed down and it was taking forever... I couldn't feel my legs anymore and could hardly see (except for the flashing spots) so I managed to say something lame along the lines of, "Uh... I think... I need some... air... real quick..." I don't know what I looked like but she took his head and told me to strip my stuff off and go get some water. I made it to the break room just in time. I was sweating and it took forever to get the ringing in my ears to stop. I sipped on some Sprite and just wanted to die... seriously, on my first day? Way to make an impression, huh? Doh!

Afterwards, they came and checked on me and I apologized profusely. I felt like such a shmuck... She was really nice and told me it happens to everyone, especially when you are new. I tried to explain that it really wasn't the gross-factor, it was the heat and seeing him writhe around and gasping and looking so freaked out and scared that did me in. I don't think they believed me and still think I just got grossed out... *sigh* So now I feel like I have to prove myself... reassure them that I have the intestinal fortitude to be an NA and someday an RN.

Other than that, my 1st day was great! I had a blast! I got to see some nasty stuff (none of which bothered me, argh that's SO frustrating!) but it was really cool. My feet were killing me when I got home and I passed out on the couch at about 8:30 but man, I can't wait until Tuesday!

Hooray! What a great day!

Why? Well for 2 reasons...

1) Today is Ben's birthday! The big 3-0! Wow he's old... heehee ;) Happy birthday babycakes! Love juice!!!

&

2) I just finished up my CNA testing and passed with flying colors! Tomorrow is my first day at Integris so I'm super excited! Not sure my feet will still feel that way after a 12 hour shift, but for now I'm just really giddy and anxious for tomorrow to come!

Let the celebrations begin!

Demoted

Sirius has been having a hard week. He's had a sore on his front right leg that he licked into a nasty infected ulcer (despite our best efforts with bitter apple, bandages, etc) so he left us with no choice... Behold, the cone of shame! (those who have seen UP! will get that)

For 2 days we thought we had solved the problem! His sore was starting to look a lot better and he didn't seem to be minding the e-collar all that much. Then today I realized why... He managed to figure out a way to twist himself juuuuuuuust right to where he can reach and lick it! ARGH!!! So, he has been demoted to...

the cone of utter humiliation!

I'd like to see him try to get around this one! Actually, I'm watching him try right now and it's really rather pathetic... poor pup. He so doesn't like me right now! Oh well, whatever it takes right?

Hold them tight...

This is going to be a depressing post, just a warning. Much like this one last year, so again.... I don't want to kill anyone's buzz... read on at your own risk.

Sometimes life just stinks. No worries, all is great here (with us). I'm referring to the never-ending battle and up's and down's of infertility and infant loss. Once again I am reminded of how fragile hope can be, how quickly it can be squashed, and how never-ending this painful journey can feel. A friend of mine (fellow Endo sufferer) just lost her baby. This after years of infertility, several miscarriages (one just earlier this year) and multiple rounds of IVF. This was supposed to be it... the "sticky one" (as we refer to BFP's that hang on) the one that made it. She was well into her 2nd trimester, past the danger zone... her baby a boy. Then, just a few days before Thanksgiving, baby Wyatt passed and she was induced to deliver her teeny tiny angel. A few days later, as if by some cruel joke, she started lactating. Now, a week later, she's found out part of the placenta was left behind and is having to take some medication to expel it, otherwise it will mean another surgery... of which she's already had plenty this year. When is enough, enough?

I know that we are sent here to be tried and tested and that we'll never be given more than we can handle. Sometimes however, I marvel at the amount of pain one is called to endure. After all that... and still no baby to hold. I can't even begin to comprehend her suffering, and I've had my fair share these past 4 years since we decided to try and start a family. My heart aches for her and her dear hubby. Things like this make me wonder if this is what awaits me if and when we finally conceive. How do you get back up from that? I don't know how I would.

I have no children to hug tonight, but those of you who do, hold them close and remember that even when they're driving you bonkers, keeping you awake all night, and making you want to rip your hair out... they are the hugest blessing one could ever ask for and they're all yours forever. You are rich beyond all imagination, my friends.

How's THIS for a stocking stuffer?!?!

Just when you thought it couldn't get better...

SpookyDan does it again! Here is his New Moon puppet parody:




Also, just in case you didn't catch his Twilight one last year (or you want to watch it again!) here's that one as well:

It's that time again!

What time, you ask? Why, the most wonderful time of the year... Christmas time!!! And what's Christmas time without the coolest song ever??? As per usual, here is a link to my original post regarding the awesomeness that is my favorite Christmas song.

And in case you don't feel like clicking or the link doesn't work (or whatever, but mostly because I love posting this video) here it is!


Enjoy!

And this is why...

... we don't get the pups stuffed chew toys very often. Behold the carnage after 30 seconds...

The culprit?

Real or fake, Sirius still can't stand these furry little woodland creatures and will not rest until he guts them. We had to take it away or it won't last the night! :)

Totally random and useless info

Catherine Zeta-Jones is Welch/Irish. She is not Hispanic in any way, shape, or form. I did not know that until today and was flabbergasted when I found out. She doesn't look it. Anyway, not that anyone cares, but it was news to me! And now you all know too, if you didn't before, that is.

Thanks Ava! :)

Refreakindiculously Fantabulous... Part 2!

(One of my favorite scenes)

Ok, so now that I'm rested and refreshed I can do this properly!

Last night was SO much fun! Ben and I went with one of my friends from work and her hubby. We saw Twilight at 9 and then stayed in the same theater for New Moon at midnight. I'm so glad we did the double movie thing because when we got there at 8:15 the line to get into the theater for the midnight showing of NM was all the way outside. Our theater is on the bottom floor of a big mall, so it spanned from one end of the mall to the other, up the stairs and then across the whole mall again and out the front entrances. Absolute pandemonium... again, SO glad we did the 2 movie thing because we just got to bi-pass the ginormous line and walk straight into the theater and to our seats. Phew!

Now, the movie: No worries, I'll keep it very general, sans spoilers!

W-O-W... Total night and day difference from Twilight. A gazillion trillion quintillion times better! I was afraid for this one because so much of Bella's anguish (central to the plot-line) is in her head so I wasn't sure how it was going to translate to the screen... especially the "October... November... December...January" part. It was absolutely perfect! They did such a great job at staying SO true to the book! Scene after scene I was surprised by all the stuff I thought they'd leave out but they didn't. The dialogue was word for word in about 90% of the movie, with the occasional funnies from some characters. Oh! Can I just say that Alice rocks!!!! By far some of the funniest stuff comes from her. Charlie steals the show again as well. Oh it was just all sorts of wonderful! Even Jacob, whom I tend to just barely tolerate (albeit grudgingly) wormed his way into my heart this time. Oh and Aro... WOW, absolutely spot on!

There were a few things that were odd and didn't work for me. Alice's wardrobe for one... um, what was that? Also her vision that she shows Aro to convince him that Bella will be turned. THAT was hilarious, even though it wasn't supposed to be... again, the wardrobe... and the frolicking... heehee. I have to say though, Sparkly Bella made me really excited for Breaking Dawn, she will be breathtaking! (Well, as long as they don't dress her in that stupid little frock she had on! I'd post a picture but it's funnier to experience it for yourself!) Also, Bella's screams during the nightmares... uh, she sounds more like a pig being slaughtered than anything else. :P

While there were just a tiny few deviations from the book and a couple of raised eyebrow moments, none of them were all that crazy, and they all flowed together with everything else just fine. I normally get hung up on those, but it's so minor this time that I'm cool with it. Now I need to figure out when I'm going to go see it again! Ben won't come along this time though, lol. Poor guy, what a trooper!

Refreakindiculously Fantabulous!!!!

Just got home, still in shock! Gotta get to bed, more to come tomorrow... or I guess that would be later on today. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, it was soooooooooooooooooooo GREAT!!!!

Over and out!

Foley Fun!

I got to assist with the placement of a Foley (catheter) last night!!! I actually didn't do all that much (gathered supplies, positioned the patient, and handed the nurse stuff) but it was fun watching and listening as she talked me through what she was doing. It will be a while before I actually get to do these myself, but last night was an exciting preview!

As I was standing there sweating in my isolation gown, gloves, and mask I suddenly felt awful for surgeons... those things are HOT! No wonder OR's are kept so cold!!! It didn't help that this patient's room was already being kept at like 85* already! Ahhh!!!

PS> 1 MORE DAY!!! :)

Brrr...

It's cold outside. It finally feels like November! I got a cherry hot chocolate this morning on my way to class and it made me giddy. I'm sure the cold will get old pretty soon, but for now I like this hot-chocolate, fuzzy socks, and snuggy weather!

PS> 3 DAYS LEFT!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! :O

Integris, here I come!!!

I GOT THE JOB!!! I got the job! I got the job! I got the jooooooooooooooooooooob!!! :) I would be doing cartwheels right now if it weren't for the fact that I'd for sure hurt myself, and that would be a bad way to start this job!

I got a call today from HR and they offered me the position, contingent on passing the physical, TB & drugs tests, computer assessment, etc etc. No worries on those though, the hard part is over since I was up against others that actually had experience, phew!!!

I am beyond ecstatic and just plain ol' grateful I even made it to the interview!!! I was trying to get there early so I left the house @ 12:30 (interview was at 1PM and I live 5 minutes away from Baptist) and in my rush to get out, I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF HOUSE AND CAR!!! I flipped! Then I started calling Kathleen and Ben's parents to see if they could help (but they were on their way to the airport and didn't have spare keys b/c we recently replaced the locks and forgot to give them a copy, argh!) so then I kept trying Ben (whose phones were not being answered, both work and cell) and just when I was about to give up and call my interviewer and plead for mercy and an extension, Ben called me back, took PTU, and rushed home to take me! I got there at 12:58 and ran like the dickens while people stared at me and quickly got out of my way. Luckily my charge nurse/interviewer was running a little late himself, so I still beat him there, PHEW!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I am just so so SO happy!

W-O-W

Just... WOW.

Kseniya Simonova is a Ukrainian artist who just won Ukraine's version of "America's Got Talent." She uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination and "sand painting" skills to interpret Germany's invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII.

Happy Halloween!

Now doesn't that just turn your insides into a giant pile of warm fuzzy mush?!?! This is my scrumptious nephew Andrew, aka Yoda! Check out Tiff's blog for pics of her AWESOME Star Wars costumes she made by hand for all 3 boys!!! I hope to some day be a cool, crafty mom like her! :)

Teehee...

I am officially good to go for November 19th/20th!!! AMC theaters are doing a Twilight Extravaganza thingy the night New Moon comes out by showing Twilight at 9PM and then New Moon at midnight. They've sold out 4 theaters already. I just got tickets for us and a friend from work and her hubby! When I dropped them off at work for her we did a happy dance and squealed like a bunch of 14 year olds... heehee. Plus when you add in the student discounts and coupons we had, we ended up being able to see 2 movies for the price of one and some change! WOOT!

Grown up books

Anyone know of a few good ones? I feel the need to read something that's NOT in the YA section!!! I've been drawn to the genre ever since Harry Potter & Twilight, and while I've thoroughly enjoyed many YA books as of late (The Hunger Games Series, Shiver, The Abhorsen Chronicles, etc) I'm itching for something a bit more... mature? Here's the thing though, one of the reasons I like YA books so much is that for the most part they are CLEAN. I don't have to worry about foul language or harlequin sex scenes. Every time I pick up a non-YA book I just can't seem to dodge at least one of those two things. I'm not very big on non-fiction either, so I'm just not having much luck...

Any suggestions?

Another one!

*sigh* :)

Ahhhhh!

Ok, they really need to stop with the teasers... these last few weeks are going to be torturous if they keep this up!


Enjoy! ;)

Biiiiiiig doggies...

29 days left, woohoo!!!

Triumph!

I finished one of my classes for the semester this week. (One of those accelerated 8 week courses) It was a class I thoroughly enjoyed, so I'm kind of bummed its over, but it's one less thing to worry about, so that's always good! I'll have 3 less tests per week now, woohoo!

Final grade?

An A (99.82)! I am quite pleased with myself... although that perfect 100 would have been cooler. Yes, I know, I need to get a grip! :)

Blogiversary and Sphygmomanometers

Happy 3rd Blogiversary to me! Hadn't realized that till just now when I read the comment on my last post. Woot! :)

In other news, I'm in desperate need of arms. Anyone willing to let me squeeze the crud out of you so I can perfect my blood pressure taking skills? I'll even give you a lollipop :)

Hooray!

My head no longer wants to explode! Ahhh, it's nice to feel normal again. Antibiotics are good stuff! After 3 weeks of an on-and-off-again head cold, I ended up with a fever and a nasty sinus/ear infection last week. I'm still on antibiotics but feeling MUCH better! They tested me for the flu (Ick, swabs shoved waaaay up the nose = very unpleasant!) but that was negative, thankfully, so no worries there.

Wash those hands, people! :)

It's a darn-tootin' shame!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how foolish I was in my younger years, as a college student at BYU. I was so busy yucking it up and enjoying my first taste of freedom (since my parents were so super restrictive and protective of me... which I can hardly blame them, growing up in NYC) that I just totally failed to really enjoy school. By that I mean the academic part of college life, because believe you me, I thoroughly enjoyed the social aspects! :) That's not to say I got horrendous grades, but I didn't excel like I was used to. Basically, I did not live up to my academic potential.

Now that I'm nearly 29 and going back to finish up what I started so long ago, school is just a whole new beast. This semester is super hectic. I average about 5-7 tests per week! I take my textbooks with me everywhere I go and even study in the bathroom at times...sorry, TMI? It's insane, and hectic, and most days I'm just exhausted beyond belief, but guess what? I LOVE IT! I absolutely, positively, 120% l-o-v-e being in school again! I am soaking it all up and doing so well! The nerd/perfectionist in me has been reawakened!

Its a shame I didn't live up to my potential at BYU or take advantage of all the opportunities I had to drink long and deep from it's fountain of knowledge (wow, that was cheesy!) but I am glad that I have wizened up with age. Better late than never, right? Perhaps this life lesson will enable me to be a better nurse than I would have been back then.

Anyway, that was my study break. I'm off! :)

Mr.T's words of wisdom

True dat yo! Love the outfit... :)

Like Momma like son

I took Sirius to the vet today because he's been acting strange since last week. Not eating, laying around looking all pathetic, not wanting to jump on the couch/bed with us, tummy probs, etc. Ben took him to an after-hours clinic last week and they said it might be an infection or he might have thrown out his back. They gave him antibiotics and pain meds and figured one or the other should work. He got better for a few days and then last night he was acting strange again. He could barely make it upstairs to bed and his tongue was really pale/white-ish. That really got my attention so I took him in to see Dr.Mauldin today to get this figured out once and for all.

Turns out he threw out his back! Odd, I didn't really think dogs did that. I mean, I know they can have bad hips and knees so I'm not sure why I was surprised, but I was.He ran some bloodwork too and the white tongue/gums were a sign of pretty bad dehydration, so they hooked him up with 300 cc's of fluids under the skin on each side of his back. Poor thing looked deformed when they handed him back to me, 2 big bulges on each side.

He's ok though. We have to take him back in a week for a follow-up to make sure it's better after some R&R and some anti-inflammatory meds. If not, he may need some X-rays to rule out any disk herniations etc, but we're hoping that won't be necessary. Ben says he's just wanting to keep me company since I'm always hurting my back, LOL!

The Host movie!!!

SM just announced today on her website that her book The Host will be turned into a movie!!! YAY! I'm so excited about that, it was an incredible book! More info here.

WOOT!

Dis-gust-ing

I just got home from school tonight and Ben was ready to tell me about this story. I hadn't even heard about it until now, and ironically it hasn't been spoken of in my Nursing class... hmm, I think I shall mention it tomorrow.

I am appalled. Absolutely 110% disgusted and beyond words with frustration for these 2 honorable nurses who were doing their job, that is protecting their patients!!! It is a sad day indeed when you lose you job, get thrown in jail and slapped with thousands of dollars of fines for following the Ethics Code of Nursing. There are laws that are supposed to protect nurses against reprecautions for whistle-blowing, but sadly enough, the DA in Kermit, TX believes he is above such laws (more info here).

As a future nurse, this is really disturbing to me. I will be following this closely and hope and pray justice prevails for these two nurses who were just doing their job and placing their patients' well being and safety above their own.

ARGH! GRR!!!

Fun with the boys!!!

This weekend was Nate & Tiff's anniversary, so they took a little trip out of town for some R&R and we got to take care of our nephews! It was a blast, although 2 out of 3 were not feeling very well, so that was sad :( We got a crash-course in Parenting 101, complete with staying up late with a sick baby, getting up early with a sick 2 year old (who we then took back to bed with us but would not go back to sleep; instead he used my back & arms as a "road" for his cars/trucks for hours) and potty training woes with the 4 year old!

Our dogs were there too, and while that was a source of stress for me (as they are unaccustomed to little hands and feet, grabbing, pinching, and kicking) I'm happy to report that they behaved themselves very well and no one got bit! Jackson and Brandon were very gentle and I was so impressed by them all! Ben is so cute with the boys, I can't wait for him to become a daddy someday! My favorite part of the weekend were those moments when the boys would make some sweet comment (Jackson praying and thanking Heavenly Father for us and asking Him to bless that "Uncle Ben and Aunt Alex will stay and play a looooong time") or Brandon tackling me to give me a big hug and kiss, and when I fell asleep on the couch with Andrew on my chest. I think that those sweet moments, which I got but just a tiny sampling of, must be what makes parenting so worth the fatigue, blood, sweat, and tears!!! I remember being so tired Friday night (I'd gone to work at 5:30am and then taken care of the kiddos alone most of the afternoon/evening until Ben got there around 8:30ish) but I was laying on the couch with Andrew asleep on my chest, and it was just the best feeling in the world. That's the stuff happiness is made of, for sure! :) Thanks to Nate & Tiff for letting us have a little slice of heaven this weekend!

Anyway, enough of my sentimental gab, here are some pics of my adorable nephews who rock my socks!!!

Jackson and Brandon having fun in the sprinklers!

Andrew, giving me the stink eye for putting him down on the grass! :)

Sirius loves to lick Andrew!!! He didn't seem to mind though.

Who is the cutest baby ever??? Andrew is!!!

Happiness is a baby sleeping soundly on you!

Uncle Ben, Andrew trying to love on Mini, and Brandon.... um, looking kinda confused? (In his defense, he had just woken up from his nap)

Jackson being a ham!

PS> This has nothing do do with this post, but I just had to say.... BOOOOO Kanye West! Not cool dude... NOT cool! That is all.

Perspective

I cannot believe that it's been 8 years already... time flies but I hope these memories will never grow dim, as unpleasant as they may be. I love this video and wanted to share it. Even within the most difficult of trials we can see the Lord's tender mercies He shows us.

Catching Fire

There are just no words... seriously.

I stayed up until about 1am finishing the book last night. Part of me wished I could put it down, not read it quite so fast, wanting to make it last as long as possible... savor every page. It was impossible though... I took it with me everywhere yesterday, sneaking in a page or two every spare chance I got. My 5-9PM class was torture, but as our professor gives us breaks every hour, I spent them reading as much as I could then as well.



This woman is a genius. It's written in first person, which I know not very many people are a fan of (Ben being one of them), but for me- this is what makes these books so emotionally charged and poignant. The highs are higher and the lows are lower. The Hunger Games was horrific in so many aspects, but this book just takes it to a whole new level... emotionally, more so than "gruesome." It is also very politically charged, and while I personally hate anything to do with government and politics (as Ben can certainly testify to, seeing as I groan and moan about my stupid PoliSci class daily) reading these books has helped me to empathize with and understand how people can get so worked up about these issues. It has helped me to realize the dangers of apathy.

I definitely give this series 5 stars!!! I can't believe I'll have to wait until Fall of 2010 for the final installment of this trilogy to be released... If the cliffhanger was bad in The Hunger Games, this one is by far ten times worse... in both a good and bad way, it's hard to describe. Anyway... I highly recommend these books, they are... well, like I said before, there are just no words to do them justice. GO READ THEM... NOW! :)

"May the odds be ever in your favor!" ~ Effie Trinket

Bad, baaaaaaad Alex!

Catching Fire, the sequel to The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins came out yesterday and I got it last night after my CNA class. It had been a long day of work, tests, doctors appt, and more school so I was exhausted... BUT I just couldn't not read!!! I stayed up till 2 am because it just kept getting better and better and although I kept promising I'd stop at the end of the chapter... well, no, I didn't.

I paid for it this morning when I woke up late (duh) and was almost late to my 8am class. It didn't help that my professor was droning on and on about ionic and covalent bonds and all that other chemistry stuff I loathe... It was one of those classes where the clock just couldn't go by fast enough and staying awake was a monumental task... but I kept my eye on the prize... the handful of hours between my day class and my night class when I can devote my full attention to my book!!! I'm about 1/2 way done now and just wanted to say, IT'S SO GOOD!!! :)

Ok, back to Katniss and Petta and the the uprising!!!

Thanks, Stephenie Meyer!

No, this isn't about Twilight! :) I was perusing her website the other day to see if anything had been updated and her latest was on some book/music recommendations. I've been itching for a new read so I decided to pick up The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Here is a quick blurb:

The Hunger Games takes place in an unidentified future time period after the destruction of North America, in a nation known as Panem. Panem consists of a rich Capitol and twelve surrounding, poorer districts. As punishment for a previous rebellion against the Capitol, every year one boy and one girl from each district are forced to participate in "The Hunger Games", a televised event whereby the participants, or "tributes", must fight to the death in an outdoor arena until only one remains. The story follows 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen, a girl from District 12 who volunteers for the Games in place of her younger sister, Primrose. Also participating from District 12 is Peeta Mellark, a boy whom Katniss knows from school and who once gave Katniss bread when her family was starving.


I was a little weary at first, as I knew this book would be a bit... violent, and I normally don't do violence. However, I was intrigued by SM's review and recommendation so I gave it a shot... SO good! So so so sooooooooooooooo incredibly good! It makes you stop and think about how far we've come with reality TV and how much further we might one day go... scary, really.

So yeah, if you're looking for a good read, check it out! Catching Fire, the sequel (its a planned trilogy) is being released next week, on Sept.1st. When I went and got book 1, Catching Fire was actually already sitting out but I had no idea it hadn't yet been released. I wonder if I had tried to buy it, if they would have let me... When I went back today to see if it was still there (after I realized it wasn't "officially" out yet) they had removed it from the shelves. When I asked, they told me it was a mistake and while they have them, they can't sell them just yet... grrr!!! Oh well, it's only a week... :p

So NOT Team Jacob, but...

I had to share this. I'm loving all the new clips they keep releasing... talk about teasers, argh!



So... cool effects and growls (calm down Paul!), Jane (Dakota Fanning) looks uber creepy, and I'm SO excited for the Volturi!!! November is just too far away!!!

Heehee...

Ok, I just had to share this because its hilarious. My nephew Brandon has this new thing that he does... its quite comical, please- take a moment and enjoy!

WATCH ME!

So what is he really trying to say? Bubbles! He loves them but just can't quite say the word just yet. Uncle Ben was having a little fun with that yesterday at Nana & Papa's and Brandon was nice enough to give us some footage!

Ahh, kids... gotta love them! :)

Jigsaw puzzles and eternal perspective

Yesterday was Stake Conference, and as always the talks were great. As it goes with these things, there was one particular talk that struck very close to home for me and was exactly what I needed to hear at the moment. (Don't you just love that?) In one talk, the subject of jigsaw puzzles was brought up and how they are very frustrating. I immediately connected with the sentiment, as I too hate them because I get so flustered and have little patience with them. He went on to say that many times he is tempted to grab a piece and snip it with his scissors to make it fit, rather than keep searching mindlessly for the actual puzzle piece that really belongs there. (Again, something I myself would do if left alone with a puzzle) Then he compared that to our lives. Sometimes we get these odd pieces that we don't quite know what to do with, and in frustration, we want to "force" them and mold them to what we want them to be like. In doing so we forget that while this may be a short-term solution, in the end the big picture (completed puzzle) won't come together the way it should!

As most of you know, for the past 4 years, I've been struggling with a particularly stubborn puzzle piece in my life... infertility. For over 3 years Ben and I tried to "cut and mold" that piece so that it would fit the way we wanted it to... we did countless rounds of fertility treatments, surgeries, etc. I pushed and pleaded with Heavenly Father to grant our desires NOW. After all, isn't having children a righteous desire and an essential part of the Plan? It became an obsession, a battle of wills, and I forgot to trust in His will and His timing for our little family. Eventually we came to the realization that it was time to stop pushing and let whatever is meant to happen, happen. My health was failing, we certainly couldn't afford the next and final step (IVF) and so after much prayer and internal battles with myself, I decided to just let it go.

This decision has allowed me to pursue other dreams I had forgotten I had. I'm back in school working on my RN, which I'm sooooo excited about. I haven't been this excited about something in so long, and it feels good to be back in school and accomplishing something, rather than feeling like a big fat failure month after month, year after year. I have been sure and at peace about this decision for quite some time now, but every once in a while, that yearning for motherhood pushes it's way back to the front of the line and I get all crazy again and start doubting our decision to take a break from it all.

I've been struggling with that especially over the past couple of weeks and hearing this talk at Stake Conference was just what I needed. A gentle reminder of what I already know to be the right path for Ben and I at this time in our lives. I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father that knows me and understands when I need these reminders. I'm grateful to know that He does have a plan for us, and while the puzzle pieces may not be fitting how I want them to right at this particular time in my life, I know that if I trust in Him, the finished puzzle will be perfect and more glorious than I could ever achieve on my own.

As promised!

Here are some pics from my visit to Hilton Head, South Carolina!

I had an awesome time! It was SO good to see my family again, we hadn't all been together since 2005 and I hadn't even seen my parents since April of 2007. I got to meet my newest nephew, Alexander who is almost 2, and catch up with my oldest nephews, Elliot (14) and Douglas (12).

Some highlights:

* Goofing off at the pool with my boys and getting fried to a crisp!
* Spending time with my parents, chitchatting late at night in between them in bed like the old days.
* Teaching Lil Alex how to say "tia" (which means aunt) in Spanish!
* Eating my mom's good old homecooked meals... yuuuum, I miss that so much!
* Going to church with my daddy!
* Feeding, bathing, changing, and singing Lil Alex to sleep.
* Watching movies together.
* Spending hours translating jokes from English to Spanish and vice versa at mealtimes!
* Going to the beach... I miss the ocean!
* Getting stung by a jellyfish! OUCH!
* Taking a boat tour around Hilton Head and it's adjacent islands and the fireworks at the end!
* Watching "Tom the boat sheriff" arrest some dude for drinking and... boating?
* The dolphins! Almost close enough to touch, that was awesome!
* Hearing my brother snore... heehee!
* Playing with Kong, even though he bit me 4 times!
* Staying up talking with Elliot and Douglas (but mostly Elliot since Dougo passed out first) until the wee hours of the morning every night!

Time for pics... lots of them!

I just got home today and am so excited to post all my pictures! well, not all, but a lot of them... I'm going to try and do one of those slideshow thingys rather than posting them one by one... let's see how long it takes me to figure that one out... stay tuned! :)

Down South

I'm in South Carolina!!! That was the surprise. I flew in yesterday and surprised the crud out of my parents, it was priceless!!! :) We've been on the go ever since and I just wanted to take a moment to update real quickly... I'll be posting pics soon, its so beautiful here and I'm having a blast with all my family. I spent a few hours at the pool today with Elliot(14) & Douglas(12) and I'm excited to report that I'm gonna come home with one heck of a tan!!! WOOT! :) Little Alex (almost 2) is a doll and quite the handful but he's warming up to me and already cries when I leave the room without him... its so cute! Oh and Kong, their dog is just the cutest! Andres has him trained to pick up a ball and tear it to shreds when he's asked, "What do we do to the Boston Red Sox?" HILLARIOUS! Gotta teach Sirius the trick! ;)

Anyway, gotta run. I'll post pics soon!

The Girl in the Bubble strikes again... and other EXCITING NEWS!!!

I'm really good at hurting myself... really, really good at it! A few days ago I managed to jam my pinky finger and man, that hurt! The next morning I woke up and it was killing me, so I cautiously flexed it and heard/felt a loud and nasty "pop/crunch!" I decided to buddy tape it to my ring finger and see if that would help... After a day or so the swelling kinda went down and although it still looked bruised I figured I was on the mend... until today. I jumped up a little too fast from bed and had a little encounter with my ol' buddy orthostatic hypotension. (Sorry, I know I could have just said head rush, but I'm enjoying using medical terms now!) I started blacking out so I reached out to brace myself and smashed my pinky against the bookshelf by the bed. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Ya'll know I don't have a potty mouth, but I almost let a few choice words slip out... Oh man that killed! So I decided it was time to get something a little more sturdy to protect my poor little re-injured pinky finger... It looks funny, but I'm fairly certain this could withstand another smash or two... which knowing me is bound to happen before this thing heals up... *sigh*


By the way, its really annoying and cumbersome to type with this thing on so I'm very grateful I waited until after finals and my 16 page Psych paper was due before I busted my finger!!!

Ok, so now for the exciting news.... Matt's home! :)


This is my lil'bro-in-law. (Not so little, I know... he's taller than me!) He got home last night from his 2 year mission in Tijuana, Mexico! We're so glad he survived and made it home in one happy piece, albeit charred to a crisp, heehee... Welcome home Matt, it's good to have you back!!! YAY! :)


I have more exciting news to share (NO, I'm not pregnant.... ha! That'll be the day...) but I can't share it just yet, lest I spoil the surprise for those whom I'm planning on surprising... which is obviously a secret. Not that they read my blog... but just in case, right? I'll blog more about it tomorrow evening or Friday... more likely Friday since tomorrow will be a long day. Anyway, stay tuned and I'll post pics... Again, it's really not that interesting to anyone other than me, really.... but I'm excited so I had to get something out! :P

Results are in...

I conquered the beast!!! (Summer term, that is) I just checked and I ended up with a 95 in Pharmacology (Or how I prefer to call it, my "How not to kill your patients when administrating meds" class) and a 97 in my Psych class. I'm a bit miffed about the 95, but it's still an A so I suppose I shouldn't complain... For those that think I'm crazy for being unhappy with a 95... well, you should have known me in junior high and high school. I self-grounded if I scored anything under 95...

Yes, I'm insane.

Anyway, feel free to ignore this post, this is more for my own gloating purposes than anything else. As previously mentioned, I've had a rough past 6 months (more specifically past 2 months since my surgery) and the fact that I managed to keep up A's during the last 8 weeks is a big accomplishment for me, considering how everything else completely fell apart...

Anyway, I'm done gloating and patting myself on the back... but, as promised a few posts ago... here is my happy dance! (Well, not ME, but I can't film myself doing it so here's Balki and Cousin Larry in my stead!)

Please excuse the teenage girls...

... and their never ending SQUEALS! *sigh* This is going to be really annoying during opening night, since 1/2 the movie (I bet) is going to be comprised of shirtless Jacob and then Edward, Edward, and oh yeah... shirtless Edward :)
Anyway, here are 2 exclusive clips smuggled out from the Comic Con previews... enjoy them while they last, I'm sure YouTube will pull them off any minute until Summit releases them "officially." Sorry, I can't help myself...

Clip 1 (yes, he does that in the book)


Clip 2 (yes, he does that in the book too)


*sigh* Is it November 20th yet? Nope... dang.

Studious Finisimo!!!

That's my very happy I'm-done-with-school (at least for a few weeks) spell! (It just made all my books burst into flames and my notes self destruct like a Howler... minus the screeching.) Heehee... j/k of course.

So I just submitted my last project, all 16 pages of it (phew, glad that's over!) and am happy to report that I am almost positive that I got straight A's this term! I aced my Psych final with a 100% and my Pharmacology final ended up at a 96% or a 90% (worst case scenario) I'm not sure because 3 of the questions were not multiple choice and will have to be graded manually. I'd much prefer the 96, of course, but I suppose a 90% will have to do, if that's the case. Either way... I'm 99.9% sure I ended up with A's as my overall grades which is a big accomplishment for me given that the summer term started the same day I had my surgery, 8 weeks ago! (What was I thinking?!?!)

Now I just have to sit and wait for my 2 final projects to be graded and everything to be tabulated so I can see it with my own eyes... Tuesday can't come quickly enough... This is going to eat away at me until then... *sigh* I'm such a doofus, I know!

But seriously... YAY- I'm done!!! :)

Life is a marathon, not a sprint

Its no secret that life has been pretty hectic and somewhat overwhelming for me over the past few months. So many of my posts have in one way or another whined about it, and while I try to put on a brave face and brush it off on the surface, deep down it really has been a trying time for me, not just physically but mentally as well. With the added stressors of my surgery and all its post op complications, school, and work I've run myself into a pretty big rut.

Particularly I've been overwhelmed with feelings of not being good enough, of being a burden, being a failure, and an ever-present sense of doom, like any second everything could come crashing down on me and my life will just turn into one big never-ending catastrophe. It's not fun feeling like that all the time. I'm sure many of you have felt something similar at least once in your lives so I'm not ashamed to admit this of myself... it's hard to accept that you need help, but I guess that's just human nature, pride, and all that.

Today I came across something that made me stop and reflect... and lifted my spirits immensely. Sorry about the grainy picture, but its worth watching if you have a minute or two:



This video brought to mind 2 scriptures I need to get in the habit of repeating to myself when I start getting anxious and overwhelmed and filled with thoughts of failure:

27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and ^aorder; for it is not requisite that a man should run ^bfaster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order. (Mosiah 4:27)

&

7 I have fought a good ^afight, I have ^bfinished my course, I have kept the faith: (2 Tim 4:7)

I am grateful to know that my Heavenly Father loves me and has/always will sustain me through all my tough times. I just need to remember to not "lean unto mine own arm" and instead reach out and accept the help He is willing and eager to offer. Perhaps this is just a (not so) gentle reminder of the importance of humility and the need to seek the Lord's help in everything I do.

Read before you swallow!

I've always been really particular about reading the pamphlets that come with your Rx's and tell you about all possible side effects, drug interactions, etc. I always read them... always.

Except today. Why? Because I've taken drug X a gazillion times, which means I've read that piece of paper a gazillion times. Then what's the big deal you might ask? Well... I'm on a new medication now that I wasn't on all the other gazillion times I took drug X... can you see where this is going?

It's 1:15 am right now... I should be in bed asleep, but instead I'm sitting here, trying to keep myself awake because I am itchy all over and and have broken out in hives. Drugs X and Y don't like each other much. Normally, I would reach for drug Z (you know, Benadryl) but it just so happens that drug Z also interacts with drug Y, and the fact that drug X makes drug Y much more potent increases the odds of drug Y and Z causing me to stop breathing in my sleep...

So... I'm trying to stay awake, to make sure the itchiness and hives go away soon, per the pharmacist's orders. Basically, as long as it doesn't get worse (ie. my tongue swelling) I'm ok, otherwise its off to the ER with me... *sigh* I'm trying to avoid that right now.

Hmmm... maybe its time to pop in Twilight/Harry Potter/HSM/Mulan again. This is going to be a long night... *yawn*- slap!

PS> We saw Push tonight, it was good. I'm not an action flick kind of gal, but it was pretty decent. I kind of wish they'd make a sequel.

Veryus Funnycus...

... except for all the cussingicus at the endicus! (This will make sense later)

So normally I don't approve of posting stuff with potty language, but this had me rolling.... Please don't play if children are around, Jimmy Fallon has a potty mouth. The really bad part is the "out-takes" clip... I'd rather skip that part anyway but it's on there at the very end. It's all "bleeped" out but still very obvious as to what they are saying... just be forewarned!!!

"Robert Pattinson" ~vs~ "Daniel Radcliffe"

Channeling my inner Balki

This semester has been pretty rough on me, with work, visiting the ER so much and then my surgery and all its post-op complications. Saying that I've been stressed out would be a monumental understatement, so I've been trying to think of ways to reduce my anxiety and self-soothe when I start getting my panties all in a wad. I recently remembered an old saying from everyone's favorite Myposian, Balki Bartokomous. He was once trying to help Cousin Larry calm down and had him repeat, "I am a hollow reeeeeeed. Troubles blow through me like the winnnnnnnnnd!" over and over again, until he was calm.

Welps, with finals week coming up as well as 2 unit tests, 2 major projects, 3 discussions and 2 more case studies due (all in the next week) I do believe this will need to become my mantra. Then, if all goes well and I survive... I will do this:

Good news minute

As described in the post below, last night was a blast and totally worth the 3 hours of sleep(since I had to get up early to go the dentist and then my 6 week post-op)! Anyway, so everything went great at my post-op and I've got the green light to resume all my normal activities, including exercising- WOOHOO! I've missed my Wii-Fit & Pilates workouts. I'm ready to get out of these maternity pants and back in my regular clothes! (well... I have to admit, the no button/zipper thing rules about maternity pants, they are so comfy!) We'll see how my belly-button handles that, it is still pretty tender, so who knows... last time it took a good 2 months before I could squeeze back into my regular jeans without my belly-button screaming bloody murder...

However, I got some really great news from my doc on the way out... He noticed I was studying (for my "How Not To Kill Your Patients" oh, *ahem*... I mean Pharmacology class) and when he saw my book (I guess I hadn't mentioned going back to school?) and realized I'm going for my RN, he got really excited and told me that when I graduate, I should go work at Integris Baptist Hospital because... their benefits cover IVF!!! I just about crapped a brick when he told me about 2 of his patients (nurses that work at Baptist) that had most of their multiple IVF rounds paid for!!! *GASP!* Seriously, I think I must've said, "You've got to be kidding me!" about 4 times before I believed him. I almost started jumping up and down, for reals. He knew we had pretty much given up all hope of ever having biological children due to the insane costs of IVF, so he was really happy to see me get so excited.

Of course this is all quite a bit in the future, I still have to finish school and actually pass the NCLEX-RN! Not to mention being able to get a job at Integris! BUT, at least now there is still a teeny tiny little bit of hope left... hope that we had pretty much given up on due to expenses and my high risk. Who knows, this may not work out but its nice to at least have the option. Neither one of us has been feeling too excited about taking the adoption route, but we saw it as our only avenue. Now we may have a choice again... *sigh* WOW... that just feels so good to know.

Man... Harry Potter and hope for our reproductive woes all in the same day... WOOT! :)

Half Blood Prince

Ben and I went to the midnight showing last night!!! It was GREAT! Despite some deviations from the book (grrr...) I think is was well done, overall. My only big beef was that I felt the end to be a little too anti-climatic and a bit rushed. I was expecting... more. However, it was very funny at all the right parts, very tender (surprisingly enough) at all the right parts, and of course... very sad at all the right parts. The cave scene was superb... prepare to jump out of your seats... I did, and I knew what was coming! The actors that played young Tom Riddle were just spot on... really really creepy, and Slughorn was just hilarious, as of course was Luna! Rupert Grint (Ron) totally stole the show, though... absolutely fantabulous!!!

Hmm... we've been toying with the idea of driving up to Tulsa this weekend after work to go watch it in the IMAX theater, oh I hope that works out!!! Click here to see the HD trailer. Sorry, they've disabled the embed feature.

Update: HBP doesn't hit IMAX until the 29th of this month... grrrr!

Tha Sad Tale of a Stubborn Stitch Named Stan.

There was once a stitch by the name of Stan. Stan was born with two missions in life: 1) Hold his assigned incision closed tightly until it had healed and 2) Once finished with his first mission, quietly and quickly dissolve and return to that great big pile of dissolvable stitches in the sky... But no, this stitch was special. You see, Stan was a particularly stubborn stitch. His goal was to be the strongest stitch out there, and do the very best job he could at keeping his assigned home (incision) safely closed up. So zealous was Stan about his first duty, that he began forgetting about (or ignoring, in my opinion) his second duty. One by one, Stan's stitchy buddies began saying farewell as the weeks went by and Stan's home healed and closed tightly. Yet Stan stood steadfast and immovable. Each day Stan's home would check to see if Stan was still there, and sure enough, he was. After a few weeks, something long and metallic began pulling on him every few days, but Stan did his best to hold on... and hold on he did. "Why is my home trying to pull me out?" wondered Stan. Resolved to make his home proud, he held on even tighter, and did his best to be visible and poke his home several times a day to remind it the he, Stan the Stubborn Stitch, was still there... doing his duty.
Today however, was a sad day for Stan the stitch. Countless times, that long metal instrument had failed to pluck him from his home. Today his home tried again, but with a much less formidable enemy... fingers. "Ha!" laughed Stan... "You shall never overcome me, Stan the Stubborn Stitch! I shall stand my ground forev-"
"Yes!" cried Stan's home as all of a sudden Stan found himself trapped between two fingers. "Finally!" the home screamed. And with that, Stan was chucked unceremoniously into a nearby trashcan.

The End :)

Rifreakindiculous!

It is 103 degrees outside right now! We're only one week into summer. W-O-W

Conniption Fit

I had myself a little breakdown yesterday... it wasn't pretty. My doctor was concerned that due to my recent surgery and all its post-op complications/infections along with lack of rest and stress from school and work, my body just isn't coping and healing well. I got some new sleeping pills and am happy to report that I actually slept through the night yesterday!

I am a happier camper today :)

Oh Mr. Sandman... where are you?!?!

I have been awake since Tuesday, with the exception of about 3 hours. Last night I didn't sleep at all... not even 5 minutes. This insomnia is getting ridiculous... My little green pills have failed me and I feel like I'm about to snap. Not sure what else to do with myself for the next hour until my doctor's office opens up, that's why I'm here posting something that probably doesn't even make sense to anyone other than myself... my apologies.

That is all.

Girl In The Bubble

That's my official new title... even here at work. I wasn't feeling well earlier this week (after retrning to work) and while I expected that to happen, turns out I ended up with a fever (again) and am now on antibiotics for yet another infection... woohoo! My doc knows I tend to get secondary infections whenever I'm on antibiotics (especially in combo with the steroids) so he's pre-empted another call from me and called in a sleuth of other meds just in case... lol. Seriously, this 2nd Lap was supposed to be easier than last time and it's turning into just about the same, if not worse!

Work is going... school is going... I'm still plugging along, and just telling myself things will get better... eventually! Some days I just have to laugh at myself because its just all too ridiculous!

Ben is my hero... he is such a trooper. I would have chucked me out to the side of the street by now if I were him... Thanks babe! :)

My hubby is the BESTESEST!

Just had gush about how wonderful Ben is! He's been taking excellent care of me these past few weeks since my surgery and it has really helped. He's also taken on a 2nd job (part time) every morning, so the poor thing is working 7am to 9pm most days, even on his day off! He wants to help us save up for my tuition this fall and once I'm in the program so I can quit working full time since clinicals will be rough. He is my hero! I wish I could do more but he says I'm doing too much already and he just wants to help me make it through the program quickly. Isn't he the best?!?! I love you baby!!! :)

On a side note: Yesterday was my first day back to work. It went better than I thought but by the end of my shift (9PM) I was in worlds of pain and while I still take Percocet at night I am only getting about 3 hours of sleep due to insomnia problems caused by the high dose steroids I'm on. Today I didn't quite make it through my whole shift at work, the combination of no sleep and pain was just too much. *sigh* I'll have to make up the hours tomorrow (my normal day off) but my doc has put me back on my little happy green pills (for sleep) and said I need to rest as much as I can while not working because sleep deprivation will definitely increase the pain and drag out my recovery. So hooray for sleeping pills.... :)

Clothes are SO overated

Seriously... oh to be a baby and be able to run around in the buff all the time! *sigh* I'm still covered in blistery goodness and very very oh-my-gosh beyond itchy, despite the steroids and creams.

Hmm... not so sure about returning to work this week if it means having to get completely dressed. :)

Liars liars, pants on fire!

Medicines taste nasty, even the "flavored ones!" I wonder why they even bother to try and make the patient think its going to taste any better than the poo it actually tastes like? Nasty or not, we have to take it right, so why lie? Do they think we're that dumb?

Take this Nystatin for instance. (I got a particularly nasty case of thrush from the intubation) Last time I had this surgery, the pharmacist was like, "Oh, this is the butterscotch flavored kind, you're lucky!" Seriously? Um... still tasted nasty. This time it was "minty cherry" flavored, woohoo... still tastes like poo.

Normally I wouldn't whine because you just plug your nose and swallow quickly, but unfortunately this Nystatin solution has to be swished around for at least 2 minutes, then gargled for another 2 minutes, and then swallowed... It's a battle not to puke the whole time, lol!

Minty cherry my behind... blegh! :P

Second verse same as the first?

Two years ago when I had my first Lap, I encountered a few bumps in the road during recovery. I developed a couple of secondary infections and a horrendous rash all over my belly, chest, and thighs due to what we *thought* was the Dermabond or surgical glue used on my incisions. Prepared with this info, we went into this surgery knowing not to use that and my doc just stuck with regular sutures to close the wounds. I was beyond relieved since that rash (more so than any of the other things) had been the worst of my post-op complications.

Guess what showed up a few days post-op? Oh yeah... the rash. (Not to mention another bout with those other 2 secondary infections again) Are you freaking KIDDING me?!?! I tried hydrocortisone cream for a few days hoping it would just go away but to no avail. I talked to my doc today and he was really surprised to hear about it because not only had he not used the Dermabond, but he'd also switched to a different kind of antiseptic surgical wash that is more hypoallergenic, just in case it had been a combination of things that had caused the rash. I am just as flabbergasted as he is... what in the world is causing this? No clue! Unfortunately, whatever it was is wreaking havoc on my body and it looks like I'm going to have to go back on steroids to make it go away, like last time... which took weeks to clear up :(

Argh...

Since I may never get to experience the real deal...

I thought I'd take a picture of myself sporting a fake baby bump, courtesy of my swollen guts at 2 days post-op! Mind you, this is WITH the abdominal binder ON which helps support everything and keeps your tummy tightly bound up against you.

And because I just couldn't resist...

I'd make a cute pregnant lady, huh? *sigh* Oh well, Ben and I had our laughs, now I'm ready for the swelling to go down because this huge belly is no fun. Thanks Tiff for the maternity pants, I can't even imagine trying to squeeze this into my regular jeans/pants... ouch!

PS> Healing is going slowly... The gas pains in my shoulders/neck/ribs are murder but I've been a good girl and have walked around the house a lot which seems to have helped... a little. My belly is all bruised and hideous looking, but the incisions seem to be healing nicely. Night time is the worst by far as the pain gets crazy and I have to sleep upright, so I don't get much rest, but it'll get better. Just gotta have patience :) Ben is doing a fantabulous job and I am very well taken care of. My hubby is the greatest!