Scary day

So as most of you probably already know (unless you've been living under a rock with no TV) we had a nasty tornado outbreak on Monday. Thankfully, we are ok and our home did not suffer any damages. Sadly, many were not so lucky... NOAA has confirmed 12 tornadoes in the state, 4 of them in the OKC metro area. There were 5 fatalities and 60+ injuries.

Here is a video shot by a local submitted to our ABC news affiliate, KOCO5. It starts off silent but the audio kicks in after about 30 sec. The guy on the radio (about 1/2 way through) is my favorite Meteorologist, Rick Mitchell. The others get too boisterous and scare me senseless...

Also, some crazy pics... courtesy of KOCO5!

WOW... seriously, wow.

Baseball size hail... this could kill you.

So where were we when this all went down? Well, Ben was at work, hunkered down in their safe room. I was at school, after just taking a Chem test. I was trying to decide whether or not to drive home (and try to beat the storms that were racing into the city) or stay put. Fortunately for me, the security guards made the decision for me because as I was texting back and forth with Ben, they started shouting, "Tornado on the ground, everyone follow me... NOW! No one leaves this building!" So... off I went, to the the science building's safe rooms (i.e. labs) and hid there for a good hour or so. They pulled up KOCO5's live streaming coverage online and we watched it on the overhead projector screen. Ben and I stayed in contact for most of that time via cellphone. Once the tornadoes were well to our east, they let us go. Fortunately, we only got golf-ball sized hail, which yes... left dings on my already dinged up car. Such is life in OK. At least my windshield/windows were intact.

I raced home to check on our home since a tornado had touched down in Bethany, which is a neighborhood (or rather subset of OKC) just a few blocks away from where we live. I had purposely left the pups locked up in the kitchen, hoping their instincts would tell them to hide in our pantry/safe room. Thankfully, the pups were just fine, as was out house. Nothing but a messy backyard (branches, leaves, and random debris) to show for it... phew!

My school has been closed for 2 days though, as it has no water because of some damage. My last final has been rescheduled, which I guess is a good thing... although I much rather get it over with, but whatever. All in all, we were VERY lucky and blessed to have escaped unharmed and with our property undamaged.

Well, looks like this evening will be active as well. Tornado warnings are popping up in western OK. We'll be in for some of this later on tonight... *sigh*

Hold them tight...

This is going to be a depressing post, just a warning. Much like this one last year, so again.... I don't want to kill anyone's buzz... read on at your own risk.

Sometimes life just stinks. No worries, all is great here (with us). I'm referring to the never-ending battle and up's and down's of infertility and infant loss. Once again I am reminded of how fragile hope can be, how quickly it can be squashed, and how never-ending this painful journey can feel. A friend of mine (fellow Endo sufferer) just lost her baby. This after years of infertility, several miscarriages (one just earlier this year) and multiple rounds of IVF. This was supposed to be it... the "sticky one" (as we refer to BFP's that hang on) the one that made it. She was well into her 2nd trimester, past the danger zone... her baby a boy. Then, just a few days before Thanksgiving, baby Wyatt passed and she was induced to deliver her teeny tiny angel. A few days later, as if by some cruel joke, she started lactating. Now, a week later, she's found out part of the placenta was left behind and is having to take some medication to expel it, otherwise it will mean another surgery... of which she's already had plenty this year. When is enough, enough?

I know that we are sent here to be tried and tested and that we'll never be given more than we can handle. Sometimes however, I marvel at the amount of pain one is called to endure. After all that... and still no baby to hold. I can't even begin to comprehend her suffering, and I've had my fair share these past 4 years since we decided to try and start a family. My heart aches for her and her dear hubby. Things like this make me wonder if this is what awaits me if and when we finally conceive. How do you get back up from that? I don't know how I would.

I have no children to hug tonight, but those of you who do, hold them close and remember that even when they're driving you bonkers, keeping you awake all night, and making you want to rip your hair out... they are the hugest blessing one could ever ask for and they're all yours forever. You are rich beyond all imagination, my friends.

Idiopathic Trigeminal Neuritis

So... definitely not a bee sting. :( Min-min had her followup today and for all intents and purposes she is still the same. The vet thought he felt a weeeeeeeee bit of resistance in her jaw when doing some neurological tests, but not much. The general consensus is that she has whats called Idiopathic Trigeminal Neuritis. Idiopathic = no one knows why it happens, or as our vet jokingly put it, "because we're idiots and can't figure it out!" Trigeminal neuritis = inflamation of the trigeminal nerve which in her case is causing the paralysis.

Final prognosis is uncertain. ITN can be temporary and linger for about 2-4 weeks... OR it can be permanent. We have no way of telling which one of these fates awaits our Minsters. I guess only time will tell... For now we are to keep her on her meds, keep feeding her and watering her through the syringes, and pray like the dickens that she gets better... She's already starting to look skinnier to me, so I'm not sure how long she'd last if this were permanent, unless she were to get a feeding tube for the rest of her life... she's only 5, so that would be a very long and miserable existance... Just trying to remain positive and cross that bridge when we get to it... hopefully we won't have to though.

I have a feeling she will be the talk of this blog for some time to come... I'll update as we have progress... or not. Thanks for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers!

Our Minsters of Magic isn't feeling very magical right now...

When it rains it pours, huh? This has been a rough week for us Youngs... First with me in the ER and my upcoming surgery, then our plumbing leaks everywhere, and now Mini. Last night I noticed that she was holding her mouth open kinda funny and her tongue was just lolling out. She was just sitting there like that, drooling! Not just a little doggy slobber, but drooooooooooooooling, long strands of it just running down her face and onto the floor. Upon closer inspection I realized she was foaming at the mouth and couldn't seem to be able to control her tongue much. I freaked... Ben was on his way home and so I googled "dog foaming at the mouth" and found a bunch of scary stuff, other than rabies (which we know isn't a possibility b/c she is up to date on her shots). So at 10PM we whisk her away to Neel Veterinary Hospital to see what was up. A lot of the websites suggested frog/toad poisoning, which we were sure was the case because she loves to chase/pounce on them in our yard. Three hours later (yeah, it was a long night in the doggy ER) the doctors were stumped. Not poisoning, X-Rays looked fine, they sedated her to scope her mouth and throat and there was no foreign body stuck anywhere, etc. As far as they could tell it was neurological because after doing a bunch of "pinch tests" they determined that she has very little to no sensation in her face/muzzle/mouth. They put her on Prednisone(for inflammation) and Tramadol (in case she was in pain) and we made a recheck appt for 2 weeks out. We brought her home, gave her some meds, and went to bed.

This morning she woke up a whole lot worse. She tried unsuccessfully (for about 15-20 minutes) to eat breakfast but all she managed to do was drool/slobber/foam all over her bowl... I doubt she got more than 5 kibbles down her throat. I tried getting her to drink but she couldn't do anything other than get water all on her face but none stayed in her mouth and just ran out the sides... Ben was at work and I just started panicking... I called our regular Vet, Dr.Mauldin, and they had us bring her right over. He did more pinch tests and she didn't react all the way down to her neck. He said that in his 18 years of practice he's only seen this twice and we're looking at 3 possibilities: 1) she got stung by a bee in the mouth and that's causing the paralysis (only neither Vet was able to find a stinger or any site of a sting... no swelling, redness, etc) 2) A degenerative auto-immune disease (meaning it would get worse) or 3) a tumor pressing on her Trigeminal nerve which would require brain surgery.

We are hoping and praying this is just a sting, as the latter two will lead to needing to make a difficult decision... our Vet is usually very chipper and optimistic, but he told us we should start thinking about how far we want/are monetarily able to continue with this if its not just a simple bee sting. So we set up a followup for Tuesday, they gave us some syringes to feed her with, and we headed off to PetSmart to buy her some canned food. We have to make her a "slurry" of food and water so we can feed it to her through the syringes, since she is unable to feed herself. It's so heartbreaking to watch, since other than her face she is healthy and happy and still her usual bumbling self... But when you see her unable to eat and drink, reality sets in and we just sat there and had ourselves a good long cry with her. These next few days will be crucial and telling of whats to come...

I know this may sound weird (especially to those of you that don't have dogs or aren't "pet people") but we don't have kids and our pups are our babies. It was a rough start with Mini, she was one screwed up dog when we first got her, but here we are 4 years later and she is just the sweetest thing ever. She is so gentle and cuddly and obedient. She's gotten to be really good around the kiddos and just loves life... Any prayers on her behalf would be welcome... we're just not ready to let her go just yet... :`(

ByeBye Carrabas :(

Yesterday was my birthday, and so Ben wanted to take me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant, Carrabas. I was sooooo excited, we haven't been there in months (probably closer to a year, actually) since we've been on the Dave Ramsey plan, paying off debt and whatnot. Anyway, so I'm just estatic, right? I was already imagining all the nummies I was going to eat... (their Mezzaluna is just esquisite!)
On our way up there, we stopped by Ben's parents' house and when they asked where we were going to eat and we said, "Carrabas!" thats when my whole day was ruined...

"But they closed down."

............. WHAT?!?!?!

*sigh*

I guess we have no choice but to make the 2 hour trip to Tulsa now, since that's the only place Carrabas still exists here in OK. Back in the day when the OKC location wasn't open, we'd take long weekend trips up there mainly for that. Oh, the lengths I'll go to for some good Italian food... I just hope we can make it up there before the Tulsa one closes down too! :/

Other than that, my b-day was relatively uneventful. We had our first assessment at work and I scored a 96%, woohoo! (Who likes to take tests on their birthday, ugh!) Ben came up for lunch (yay!) and after I got over the shock and grief of no Carrabas, we had a nice dinner at Texas Roadhouse. :)

I'm toxic... still.

It's been over three years since I was last able to donate blood. (I used to do so quite frequently, I have always loved it for some odd reason... Ben thinks I'm crazy) I couldn't donate because of all the hormones I was on while TTC, then because of my surgery, and then because of the Lupron (a chemo agent)! Last month I became eligible again (it takes 6 months for the Lupron to completely leave your system) and I've been soooooooooooo looking forward to today's blood drive at church!!! Finally, something my body could do correctly and make itself useful for, right?

So I get to church and start going through the paperwork as per usual. I get to the "deferal due to medications" section and there was Lupron, but no biggie right? It's been over 6 months, I'm set! My blood is clean and good to go! EXCEPT that right next to Lupron (it used to be the last one in that section) now was Aygestin... I just started taking Aygestin about 2 weeks ago because my prior Endo treatment plan was giving me horrendous migraines.

Apparently Aygestin is new to "the list." It's level of toxicity is equal to that of Lupron and means I have to wait until 6 months after my last dose before I am able to donate. I was soooooooooooooooooooooo MAD! I seriously went back to my car, texted Ben and cried all the way home. It was like Christmas being canceled...

I'm sure you are all thinking I'm crazy. Why get so worked up over not being able to go get poked by a needle and bleed into a bag for 7 minutes? Odd, I know. I guess it doesn't really make very much sense to anyone but me. Being able to donate again was one of the "bright sides" to having given up trying to have kids. It also meant my body was finally good at something again, and not a complete failure, like I often feel because of all the problems it gives me most of the time. It was my way of feeling "normal" again after 3 years of feeling anything but normal.

Oh well... I'm not sure how long I'll be on Aygestin (seeing as it is one of only 2 options for a long term Endo management plan) but until then OBI will not be wanting any of my blood. It's really too bad actually, since I've got O+ blood which is rather useful, but I guess not so much when it's all toxic and whatnot.

Maybe I should get a t-shirt with a biohazard symbol on it, lol.

These are a few of my faaaaavorite things...

I'm having a "sad day" and so I thought I'd cheer myself up with a few of my favorite things, like the song says to do, you know? So here goes, this is what I've spent most of today doing while trying to ignore the pain...

* Watching my pups sleep and have their cute little "puppymares", where they bark at their dream-land foes! (See previous post)

* Curl up with Edw-um... I mean the Twilight Series! ;)

* Play my newest GC game, "Paper Mario & The Thousand Year Door" (so much fun, highly reccommend it!)

* Baking my fave kind of bread (bannana, hold the nuts!), and enjoying the smell permeate my house, yuuuuuuuuuum!

Ahh, there is nothing like some warm comfort food to soothe the soul and aching tummy...and now "I don't feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel sooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!" ;)

Hooray for books!

Thank goodness for them, for this weekend would have been hard without one. I'm not feeling so hot and have spent the better part of the weekend on my couch or in bed. Fortunately for me, BRISINGR, the 3rd book of The Inheritance Cycle was released Friday/Saturday at midnight and I've been steadily devouring my way through it. Right now Ben has it and is catching up so we can sontinue reading outloud to one another. It's SO good! Ah, I love weekends spent curled up with a good book, albeit in major pain, but nevertheless good times.

Day of Remembrance

Has it really been 7 years? It feels like just yesterday that Erin came running into my room to drag me out of bed. (My roomie at BYU) I remember her saying something about a my home being attacked and then she plopped me down on the couch in front of our TV... my world fell apart. Some of the first images I saw were of my highschool, about 3 blocks away from the WTC. The students and teachers were being evacuated, they were running up the riverwalk along West St. While I didn't recognize any student faces, I did spot a few teachers I knew.. and then Tower 1 started to fall and the plume of debris and smoke enveloped them all... leaving the static you get when you lose transmition momentarily... I will never EVER forget the horror I felt in that moment. Then the panic... My mom... she was working downtown that day... was she anywhere nearby? The frantic phonecalls began... my brother, my godparents, family friends... all calling me to ask if I'd heard from my mom. I had no answer for them, just the same exact question. My dad was in Uruguay, so he was unreachable for a long time. It took hours to hear from her... she was amongst the many that had to walk home, across the bridges. What about my friends? Where were they? Could they have lost anyone? Could I lose any one of them? It took days to hear from many of them, as they were spending most of their free time down at ground zero, helping with recovery, waiting with loved ones who had someone missing. My highschool was later used as a base of operations during the recovery efforts, and later as a morgue.

I was saddened by the lack of coverage by the media today. I'm sure its a different story back home, but here in OK it was pretty much business as usual, with the occasional, "Oh... its 9/11 isn't it?" from my patients as they asked the date while filling out a check. I suppose those not affected by this horrible trajedy can afford to forget.

I cannot.