Vanilla Envelopes In A Doggy Dog World

Ok, so you know how sometimes people spend ages singing the wrong words to a song because thats what they *thought* it was saying? Well, I've been very blessed to know 2 people who are afflicted with this condition in normal every day life phrases and words. Today we were at WalMart getting some odds and ends. Ben all of a sudden mentions, "Oh, and I need some vanilla envelopes." I did a double take and said,"A what now, hun?" to make sure I had heard correctly. "A vanilla envelope, you know the big yellow ones with the clasps on the back," he said with a straight face. I knew he was not joking. After laughing my head off for like 5 minutes, I kindly informed him that what he's been calling "vanilla envelopes" all 26 years of his life are actually called MANILLA envelopes. This was almost as good as the time my friend Kathy said to me, "Man, it sure is a doggy dog world!" Like with Ben, I asked her to repeat herself and again, after recovering from my fit of laughter, had to break the news to her... that its a dog EAT dog world. This was about 10 years ago... I still tease her about it to this day whenever the opportunity arrises. And so it begins with Ben and his vanilla envelopes!

I'm too sexy for my shades... too sexy for my shades, so sexy yeah!

So I went to the eye doctor today and sure enough, he used those drops that make your pupils dialate to about the size of a dime! Seeing as the effects of these drops don't wear off for HOURS (ahhhh, bright light, bright light!!!) I had to walk around for the rest of the day sporting these lovely things! Just thought I'd share how fantabulously stupid I looked in them!

*GASP!*

I almost died this morning.... yup, the world *almost* lost its snorting Alex! No, we didn't have a tornado... No, I wasn't crossing the street without looking both ways. No, I didn't even drop my hair drier in the tub with me (not that I take baths anyway). Want to know how I came inches from having my life snuffed out like a candle? Alright... here we go. "Please, I must ask you not to scream... " (Quick, name that movie!)
I woke up and jumped out of bed followed by my Sirius. As I reached the door to the hall, a strange sensation overtook me. A weird buzz in my head and then the world started spinning. because of the momentum, I had continued walking... clumsily approaching the stairways, with Sirius close behind me. Why I didn't just sit down at this point, I don't know... I wasn't really thinking, actually... the buzz, remeber? So Then I find myself half walking, half tumbling down the stairs but thankfully, I was able to hang onto the banister and steady myself. Sirius (sensing that I was in mortal peril) ran in front of me, just further down the stairs... willingly lending his body as a cushion to break my fall, lest I plummet to my untimely death.
Anticlimatically, however, I managed my way down the steps, passed Ben half not knowing what I was doing and sat down in the living room where I proceeded to put my head down by my knees, willing the world to stop spinning. Eventually it did... Sirius is my hero.

The Minsters of Magic

Well, I've been a bad momma... Here I've been posting picture after picture of my Sirius and Mini has yet to grace this blog. You'd think I am playing favorites here... well, actually I am, but thats besides the point. So... without further ado, here for your viewing pleaseure... the dumb, the bumbling, the creepy stare-er... Minerva.

DOH!

Ok, so I'm driving to work this morning and there is this lady in a white Taurus in front of me. She was going rather slowly and I was about to switch lanes to pass her when she started hitting herself on the head! You know, the open palmed smack on the forehead you do when you're having a "duh" moment or when you've forgotten something really important? Yeah, she was doing that. At first I thought I must've been imagining it, but then *smack*, she did it again... and again... and again! Soon she was doing it with both hands! (Alternating hands of course, between smacks and holding onto the wheel) Surely she was going to stop this, I thought... well, she did... but rather than resuming driving like a normal person, she started yanking at her hair! By this time we had approached an intersection and she managed to control herself enough to signal and turn... I (despite my curiosity) continued straight and laughed my way to work... bizarre.

Shark!!!

Bull shark to be exact... the largest captive Bull sharks in the world, apparently. Oklahoma has them, can you believe that? Yup, in a little town called Jenks on the outskirts of Tulsa there is an aquarium that houses these man-eaters. As Ben and I walked under the plexi-glass tunnel that seperated us from the immenent death that swimmed above and around us yesterday, I realized Bull sharks aren't really all that big. (Well, at least not in captivity, anyway...) When you see "The World's Largest_____" label, you kinda expect something... well... larger. Oh well, watching the stingrays (in the touch tank that can no longer be touched due to recent unfortunate events involving our dear mate, Steve Erwin) splash around and bobbing up for food was cool! Oh, and I got to touch a starfish... oooooohhh.

Baaaaad dog!!!

It was cold Halloween night... very cold. So cold that they put out freeze warnings, mind you. Ben and I had to go out for all of 20 minutes and decided to leave the dogs inside...after all, we'd be back right away! What trouble could they possibly get into?

Well... now we know. Mind you, this candy was in a bag in another bag, on top of the dinning room table...little buggers! After impressing upon them how bad that was we sent them outside while we cleaned up the mess. In lollipops alone they managed to wolf down close to 20.

Sirius, who obviously was the instigator of this whole shinnanigan soon got was coming to him... a tummy ache. We sometimes call him Patheticus... can you see why?

And after a while of not getting any sympathy from us, he decided to really play it up and lay it on heavy... *sigh* How can you be mad at a face like this? Grrr.... gets me every time.
Wondering where the Minsters is in all of this? Well, unlike Sirius (who knows no shame) she was hiding in her kennel... didn't see her the entire rest of the evening.

Moral of the story? Uh.. well, you'd think we'd learned our lesson by now.