Conniption Fit

I had myself a little breakdown yesterday... it wasn't pretty. My doctor was concerned that due to my recent surgery and all its post-op complications/infections along with lack of rest and stress from school and work, my body just isn't coping and healing well. I got some new sleeping pills and am happy to report that I actually slept through the night yesterday!

I am a happier camper today :)

Oh Mr.Sandman....

Well, I've survived my 1st week of Seminary! About 2 days into it I didn't think I would... the insomnia lurked back up (no more Prometrium keeping me asleep, boo!) and it was back to waking up at 1AM and never going back to sleep. NOT cool. Ben has been such a sweetheart, staying up with me, reading to me, rubbing my back, talking me through relaxation exercises, etc. Last night he and his dad gave me a blessing and now I have the weekend to recoup so... I'm hoping this will not be a repeat of last Feb-April!

Seminary has gone very well! My class is huge and can sometimes get a bit rowdy and hard to control, but things are starting to settle down as we get into our routine. I've got so many new faces this year and they're all really great kids, so this year should be fun!

Close... but no cigar

So its been a few days since I stopped taking my sleeping pills before bed. That first night wasn't too bad. Saturday into Sunday was a little worse. Sunday into Monday was pretty bad, and last night was officially terrible. I'm back to tossing and turning and just giving up on sleep at about 4am. This morning I crawled out of bed to a very familiar thought/feeling... HOW am I going to do this? I just simply cannot go back to sleeping 1-2 hours per night. Seminary is about to start in a few weeks and no... NO, this cannot be happening. I'm going to try the Benadryl again and see if that helps a bit. If it doesn't I suppose we'll move up to Unisom again, and if that doesn't do the trick... well, my Dr.and I may have to have a sit down about TTC safe sleeping pills because I refuse to go down this road again.

I'll keep you all updated. Ben and I are going on our Stake Youth Conference trip to Nauvoo tomorrow and will be back Staurday. We'll see how I survive that. Hopefully sheer exhaustion will help me sleep those nights! :/

Sleep = Happy Alex :)

So last Sunday I finally crumbled. While trying to get up to get ready for church I completely LOST it and had a HUGE meltdown! I was tired of living on 2 hours of sleep day after day after day and it finally just caught up with me and I exploded! Poor Ben... I cried for what seemed like hours, feeling like the world was just going to crumble to bits, everything seemd SO hopeless, and I was sure I was just going to die, LOL! (Yes, 3 months of little to no sleep sure does make me a bit mellodramatic!) Ben helped calm me down, went to church and informed Bishop, and then came home and made me call Dr.Goff to tell him what was going on. I had been resisting this b/c I was afraid of being put on Ambien for so long. But clearly something HAD to be done... I just couldn't go on like this. So I called and my doctor prescribed me something else (woohoo!) that is non-addictive and doesn't have all the crazy side effects Ambien seems to have on people. I got a blessing from Bishop and Ben and then was told by Bishop that I was to take a few days off of teaching Seminary until I was well-rested.
Now here I am almost a week later, and boy do I feel SO much better! I love my little green pills! I am still waking up a lot at night, but I can now just roll over and go back to sleep! The world is a much happier place for me now and everyone has been commenting on how different I seem. Its amazing what a little sleep can do for you, lol. Now I can make it through the 2nd 1/2 of my Lupron treatment, phew!