This weekend was a rough one. I had to work and thanks to the blizzard on Christmas Eve (Thursday) not many people could get to work. This meant we were severely short staffed. Some nurses had worked 20 hour shifts, sleeping at the hospital because they were stranded and the ones that were supposed to come in couldn't get out of their driveways, much less drive there. When I got there Saturday morning I was greeted by some grim faces and told that I would be 1 of only 2 NA's that shift. There are usually 4 of us. That meant I had double the patient load... yipee.
Mind you, this was only my 2nd day post training, without my trainer. My first had been earlier that week and horrendous, but that's another story.
Anyway, the patients were also cranky, since I'm sure spending Christmas in the hospital is no fun... especially when there is a nursing staff shortage and they probably had to wait forever for everything. On Sunday afternoon, there was one particularly disturbing occurrence that had me wanting to choke myself with the nearest nasal cannula. I went into the room of a patient to answer his call light for the umpteenth time. (He was one of those patients, you know?) The following conversation ensued-
Patient: Blah blah blah... are you married?
Me: Yes sir, I am.
Patient: How many kids do you have?
Me: None, sir.
Patient: None? How old are you?
Me: I'll be 29 in a few weeks. (At this point I steeled myself for the lecture I knew I was about to receive from this 80+ year old man)
Patient: Well you're almost 30! Don't you want any children?
Me: Yes sir, I do.
Patient: You better get a move on then... Don't you think it's about time?!?!
Me: (Trying hard to not betray the boiling fury bubbling up in my head) Some day *fake smile*
Patient: Well, doesn't your mom want any grandkids? I bet she does.
Me: Oh, she has plenty to keep her busy, sir. Three and another one on the way.
Patient: Hmph... well, you're not getting any younger, you know!
Me: *Fake smile and nod*
It's been a while since I last had that outright of a rebuking for my childlessness from a complete stranger. Of course he had no idea... nor was I about to tell him of our struggles as it was none of his business... It just sucked and made my already bad weekend even worse. I'm proud of myself for not flipping out as I was already teetering on the verge from the stress of the workday and being sick with a nasty stomach bug.
Go me :)
7 comments:
i hear ya. people tend to make pretty ignorant offhand remarks. i hear the same thing, only usually i get the "oh, you aren't married? ohhhh....." and then subsequent pity remarks, or lectures on the importance of marriage.
so i feel your pain, and i know your heart is in the right place.
rach
meaning, first i get asked about kids, and then when it comes out that i haven't gotten the marriage part down, i also get the marriage lecture on top of the kid lecture.
Yeah, I knew what you meant... people suck sometimes, huh? I'm sorry you've had to deal with that too. Hopefully once you do find your Prince Charming, the kiddos will follow quickly and easily. I wouldn't wish this anyone...
Glad you survived the weekend... But sorry you had to deal with patients like that! Makes you just want to kick them sometimes I'm sure. I once had someone at church remind me that I hadn't had any kids yet, in which I responded "Thank you for reminding me of my fertility struggles, it always makes me feel so much better". Needless to say, they have NEVER said anything to me regarding our family size again :) Probably not the most Christlike response, but it did make me feel better... We're always praying for you... I know you will be a WONDERFUL MOM!
I had a professor in college and she wasn't able to have kids, but was able to adopt. She was telling us one day about how she got married when getting her undergrad and they tried but it just wasn't happening. So then she went on and got her masters. Living in Utah can tend to be a bit worse than other places (not always but I think you know what I mean). She was telling us the things people would say. Like, Oh you're putting your career ahead of your family. And she was telling us that inside she's thinking, NO I'M JUST INFERTILE, yet it's not something you want to tell everyone or that would go over well if you did. Sorry that happened Alex! Love you! At least the weekend is over.
I am so sorry for your awful weekend. I don't understand judgmental thinking when they have NO IDEA what the situation is. Even so, what makes people think they can outright, tactlessly say whatever the heck they want at another's expense? Tell me where the old guy is, I'll open a can!
alex, i am so sorry. i have had that "situation" way more than i would have ever liked. i love you and remember so does heavenly father. he has a plan that no one knows. just think: in september i was upset with god for closing my womb and last night i was praying and thanking him for it so that i could be mother to these 3 wonderful children! life is crazy...people are weird and nosey and sometimes jerky! ...i love you! and one day (hopefully soon)...you will be an amazing mom!
Post a Comment